You have probably heard the saying, “don’t judge a book by its cover” at least once in your life. I think that holds particularly true when getting to know people. Often, a person’s outward characteristics influence how we view them before even getting to know them. Someone with blond hair and blue eyes might immediately be thought of as attractive, while a muscular build may suggest confidence. Similarly, someone who is overweight might encounter negative assumptions right away without others knowing anything about them, or students who look like they have it all together might cause others to question if their path is right. While outward appearance gets a lot of attention, there can be much more below the surface.

I have personally been judged based on outward appearance and behaviors alone throughout my life and even here at college. The way I navigate the world is different in that it takes more effort on my part just to do a simple task. A first-time vending machine run could take an hour simply because it’s all about learning which combination does what function without the ability to read by sight. Just scanning my ID card requires help since the barcode needs to be positioned in a precise way. The reason I walk slowly in crowded places is because crowd movement is very unpredictable. What an observer might take from these examples is that maybe I am a slow walker, or perhaps I can’t do a task on my own, so they step in to do it for me even if I didn’t ask for help. In reality, at times I simply may need more flexibility with doing a task, not because I am incapable, but because I simply need extra room to do what I want to do and the space to try. Once familiarity of a task, process, or physical area develops, I am highly efficient at it. When people get to know me as a human being, they also get to see that I can accomplish a lot of things and I possess many traits. As examples, I am witty when I want to be, talkative with time, a highly-skilled pianist and bookworm, and I like to be honest.

I do think that developing a good first impression is important in any setting and with any individuals we might meet for the first time. However, the danger of not looking beyond the outside is that it, alone, determines our final impressions. We then proceed to move away from the individual and find a more suitable group, or more commonly, what we outwardly see gets imprinted in our minds which finalizes our views. It might also lead to stereotypical assumptions, such as thinking blond means California girls or surfer boys, a differently abled person being associated with always taking ramps or the easiest routes possible, etc. Social media takes it further with people showing the highlights of the positivity in their lives, so we get an impression engraved in our minds that maybe their lives are perfect, leading to a lower mood or a negative outlook on our own lives that might not be true. Now, I am not saying to let your guard down. If you see something suspicious, by all means listen to your instincts and get out of there quickly. Also, when preparing for professional events or a job interview, make yourself presentable. But I speak of the everyday, simple interactions we have when encountering someone who is different or who seems a particular way on the outside. The outward appearance is only one part of the story, and sometimes the first impressions we can often make are wrong.

I believe that having our minds open to different people with diverse backgrounds, traits, and personalities is what can fix this problem, or at least, make it less of a hassle in social interaction. When meeting someone new, really talking to them could make a difference for both sides. Being an active listener is key here. Asking questions about them within comfortable boundaries could be both rewarding and educational. If you see someone who looks or does things differently than you, be approachable and treat them like a normal human being. Really getting to know someone and getting deeper into their character, not just their flaws or your presumed impressions, could unlock a lot of hidden surprises.