There comes a time in every coffee shop’s lifespan when they must make mistakes, try new things, and add more variety to the menu. For our beloved on-campus coffee shop, Common Grounds, that time was Friday, Sept. 18. Six new concoctions were each given the chance to make it onto the upcoming seasonal menu, with the say of the common folk being the deciding factor. EMU’s most refined, sophisticated, and handsome auteurs Noah Yoder and Kai Hoover-Seidel simply could not pass up this opportunity for criticism! 

Drink A: Pumpkin Pie Mocha 

Noah- With the fall season rapidly approaching, who wouldn’t be in the mood for a pumpkin mocha? I am a huge sucker for anything pumpkin flavored, but normally dislike coffee. However, the richness of the dark chocolate mocha mixed with the delightful pumpkin flavoring created a taste that delighted both my tongue and brain! And for all you iron-deficient folks out there, once you’ve finished the main drink you get to munch on pumpkin soaked ice cubes. Truly one of the best coffee drinks I’ve tasted! 8.5/10 

Kai- Nothing says “Fall incoming!” like seeing the word ‘pumpkin’ on the menu. This libation was light and delightful. Tasty and tasteful. The flavor was friendly and fun, but the aftertaste abandoned the band of ambience fairly abruptly. I wouldn’t be mad at this drink with a tad bit more sass at the bottom of the glass. That being said, I do love a good mocha. Don’t be surprised if you see me ordering that drink again. 7.8/10 

Drink B: Taro Tea 

Noah- Imagine this: you get lost hiking in the Tibetan Plateau and come across a monastery. The monks take you in and nurse you back to health. They have you drink a delicious

tea made with taro root. It is the creamiest, most delectable tea you have laid lips on. The pale pastel purple, at first very off-putting, is now almost hypnotizing. When you return home you try to replicate this masterpiece, only to find it bland and uninteresting. That was my experience with this drink. It’s not bad, but I can’t see myself ordering it over anything else. 5/10 

Kai- I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was slightly intimidated by the look of this drink. This colorful concoction might have controlled my conscience after consumption in creepy ways I still can’t comprehend. The flavor wasn’t bad, but my tongue couldn’t quite understand what it was witnessing. And I must admit that although I most likely will abstain from getting this drink again, I’m sure there’s an appeal for this aberrant flavor amongst the audience in Common Grounds. 5.6/10 

Drink C: Mango Me Matcha 

Noah- The only thing holding me back from becoming a performative male is my dislike of matcha. And that I don’t wear jeans. The color and texture of the drink alone was enough to make me skeptical, but the gelatinous chunks of mango suddenly flying up the straw and into my awaiting maw was what fully put me off. I love a good mango drink; a mango smoothie is my regular order at CG, but I wouldn’t have been able to tell the drink was mango themed if not for the name and ingredient list. 4/10 

Kai- Mango Me Matcha is the kind of drink I wish I could like. The vibrant visuals and voluptuous veggie flavor sent various vivid vibrations down my spine. Yet the yielding flavor just wasn’t yummy. Even before drinking, I could tell this was made for the people who sacrifice a satisfying, sweet taste for their physical health. And as much as I can appreciate the alliteration, I am not one of those people. 4.8/10

Drink D: Midnight Mocha 

Noah- As a wee lad, I took delight in calling hot chocolate “kid coffee” because I wasn’t allowed to drink regular coffee. I had long since assumed this was because I wasn’t old enough to enjoy the flavor. However, since maturing into a respectable young man I’ve discovered that enjoying the taste of coffee is NOT one of the effects of puberty. The smell and look of coffee has always been so alluring to me, but the taste always leaves much to be desired. This mocha however, changed my perception of what coffee can be. I would go so far as to say that what I drank was not coffee, but the fabled “adult hot chocolate.” The richness of it swept me off my feet and I had a Ratatoullie moment right there in Common Grounds. Midnight Mocha is such an immaculate and masterful display of true coffee artistry. However I do like the pumpkin one more. 8/10 

Kai 

Midnight Mocha, your taste I adore. 

I left Common Grounds wanting just one more. 

The dark chocolate, the milk, everything was complete. 

A brilliant balance of bitter, a symphonic song of sweet. 

That first sip was gracious; your goal was to please. 

And you took over me, like a spreading disease. 

I await your arrival, I’m watching the menu. 

Until then, this poem is all I can send you. 

9.1/10

Drink E: Spiced Vanilla 

Noah- Not much to say about this one. I think the spiced part of the Spiced Vanilla was pretty good. I’ve not had many drinks with a creamy yet kicky flavor. I will say that it did seem a little watery and lacked thickness and richness. Overall, not bad, but it did seem slightly off. 6.5/10 

Kai- Yeah, I’d have to agree with my colleague. Nice flavor, just a bit too watered down. 6.3/10 

Drink F: Cinnamon Roll Latte 

Noah- Now this was a fun one! I was skeptical at first if the flavor would actually live up to the name and was pleasantly surprised when it did. It even fixed some of the issues I had with the previous drink by having that little bit of punch and zing with none of the wateriness of Spiced Vanilla. An excellent drink for sure, and one I would probably order again. 7.75/10 

Kai- Last but certainly not least, this flavor was a good ending to quite a roster of sips. After many amusing and mysterious mixtures in this multifarious menu, I must amend that this milky mix didn’t miss the memo. This drink drove home this daring array of delicious and delirious ordeals. And I need to note the nice aesthetic nature of this nectar with cinnamon powder neatly ensconced on top. That being said… uh… it could have been warmer. 7.7/10 

Final Rankings: 

KaA, D, F, E, B, C 

Kai- D, A, F, E, B, C

This concludes our official rankings for the potential new Common Grounds elixirs. Hopefully we will see some of these on the upcoming seasonal menu (and hopefully some of them we won’t). Kai and Noah OUT.