Pronouns are a linguistic tool that are used to identify people in place of their name. To respect all people with diverse gender identities, EMU is making an effort to normalize the use of other pronouns such as they/them or ze/hir (pronounced zee/heer). The most common pronouns that are used when referring to someone are she/her/hers and he/him/his. But why do other pronouns matter when referring to someone?
Above all else, pronouns are a sign of respect and acknowledgement to people of all genders. Pronouns matter because they are a source of identity for people who do not align with the binary categorization of gender. People who don’t identify with he/she pronouns may identify as queer, gender non-conforming, non-binary, or transgender. Using someone’s correct pronouns is important because it allows people to feel included as the truest version of themselves.
Although it may sometimes feel uncomfortable, here at EMU we want to normalize people asking about pronouns. We do this because we never want to assume how someone identifies based on the way they look, behave, or sound. Some examples of public figures who have said they identify with they/them pronouns are Sam Smith and Jonathan Van Ness from the Netflix series Queer Eye. In an interview with Out Magazine, Van Ness said, “I’m gender non-conforming… Like, some days I feel like a man, but then other days I feel like a woman.”
In an ever evolving world, there may be a time when you accidentally misgender or incorrectly assume how someone identifies. If this happens, let them know that it was not intentional and apologize. A way to mitigate these mistakes during an introduction, you could start the conversation with your own name and pronouns to open the floor for others. Today, we’re seeing pronouns being added next to names on Zoom group calls and on name tags in the workplace. You could even add them as part of your email signature.
As a way to better understand what it’s like to be misgendered, imagine your name is James but the person next to you in class called you Joe. A one time slip up might be okay (and should be followed up with an apology), but now imagine that person called you by the wrong name everyday. It would be disrespectful, rude, and frustrating and might even be considered harassment.
The key to normalizing the use of pronouns other than he/she is to practice! If you mess up, apologize and correct the mistake.