I left Harrisonburg abruptly the first week campus closed. Originally planning to remain, assuming a steady return to normalcy, I did not say goodbyes. I packed up my houseplants, my cat, and a smattering of things to help me pass the time in my hometown, and left. A few days later, I awoke to the realization that I will not see some of my dear friends, the people who have shaped my college experience, for an indeterminate amount of time, if I see them again at all. To them; forgive me, I really, really hate goodbyes.
Our class of 2020 is graduating, but it doesn’t feel like it. There aren’t going to be any study sessions in Common Grounds as we cram for finals. No late night Bachelor viewings when we know we have classes early the next day.
No long awaited grad parties, no parties at all for that matter. We won’t shout and cheer for our friends as they walk across the stage, diplomas in hand, finished at last with four years of learning and growing together.
Instead we’re scattered, and if we were anxious about life after college, we feel that anxiety now tenfold.
A week ago, I couldn’t even bring myself to think about school, what online classes would be like, or the loss of connection we were all about to experience. There are bigger things going on in the world, and I am truly lucky to be in the position I am in currently, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
We had something special stripped away, and no matter what else is going on in the world, that hurts, and it is a loss you are allowed to feel, even if the news and every social media platform reminds you daily that people elsewhere have it worse.
I’m having a hard time being optimistic. But there are brightsides to all of our circumstances right now, even if we have to try a little harder to see them. List the things that bring you joy throughout the day, no matter how insignificant. I saw a whole orange on the sidewalk this afternoon, round and a bit absurd, and a little boy shouted after me that my shoes were yellow like the sun as I passed his yard. That’s going on the list.
As your to-do list grows and questions and confusion arise daily (“Wait, do I have a Zoom meeting today?” “Can I get a refund for this rented cap and gown?”), list the things you accomplish each day, school related or not. I’ve watched 15 episodes of “One Punch Man” in the last two days. I’m still deciding whether or not that belongs on a list of accomplishments, but the quality time spent with my 13 year old sister binging “Gravity Falls” and making art absolutely does. I constructed a blanket fort for my cat. You get the picture. Listing these things makes me feel a lot better than crossing assignments off a to-do list; maybe the same will be true for you.
While everything is crazy and nothing feels the way we expected it to right now, and if you’re feeling anything like I do, remember to take care of yourself, and remember that there are many who care for you too, no matter how many states and nations we’re sprinkled over.
